Friday, January 8, 2010
As I have mentioned before I love, Love and Logic. Today I found an article by Dr. Charles Fay called "Make it Mom's Day All year Round." In the article he talks about the importance of giving kids chores.
He says, "Chores are an important part of family life. They provide the foundation upon which responsibility, self-esteem, and strong family relationships are built. At the Love and Logic Institute, we’ve found that kids who make meaningful contributions to their families, such as preparing dinner once a week or completing household chores, are more likely to gain academic achievement, enjoy success in life, and develop a desire to give back to the community."
Then he gave 4 tips for teaching children the value of helping out around the house all year round:
Tip #1: Teach kids to do their fair share of the housework without being hounded. It will make mom’s life a lot easier if kids complete chores without frequent reminders. With one simple statement, show your kids you mean business in a loving way by saying, “I’ll be happy to do the things I do for you as soon as your chores are done.”
*My husband totally had this one used on him as a child. He said it really worked and he actually did his chores. I think it is because it emphasizes that I will do something for you, if you will do something for me. Something we can all understand no matter the age:)
Tip #2: Guide your kids toward needing less help with completing daily chores. It’s never too early to start teaching kids how to take care of themselves. As early as age two or three, kids can learn daily activities, such as getting ready in the morning, putting away toys, and preparing for bed in the evening. In order to teach kids how to be independent, have them write down a list of daily tasks and mark them off the list as they are completed. If the child is too young to write, such as a two-year-old, draw pictures of the daily tasks with your child.
*This one is one of my Favs! My little guy is only 17 months and is perfectly capable of helping put away toys and he loves it. The other day we went over to my mother-in-laws and he randomly started helping my nephew pick up the toys in his room without being asked.
Tip #3: Assign chores as repayment for withdrawals from your “emotional bank account.” When a parent asks a child to stop misbehaving, but the child keeps it up, the parent can say in a loving, soft tone of voice, “How sad! Your behavior has really drained the energy out of me. Now I’m too tired to clean the bathrooms. When you get them done, I’m sure I’ll feel a whole lot better.” If the child refuses or forgets to do the chore, wise parents don’t lecture or threaten. Instead, they quietly allow their child to “pay” for their bad manners with one of their favorite toys.
*This is totally true, nagging kids to stop misbehaving does take a lot out of you, and making them "pay" for the misbehavior by doing a deed is far more of a punishment than taking a toy away. Chances are the kid will forget about the toy in a few days or even hours and result back to the misbehavior.
Tip #4: Show kids why it is wise to be polite to mom (and dad). When a child talks back, pick one loving statement in response and say it over and over again, such as, “Honey, I love you too much to argue.” Kids will learn that they need to use a polite tone of voice and respectful words when requesting assistance from their parents.
For the full article got to https://www.loveandlogic.com/pdfs/502momrespect.pdf